Crashing

I lived my life tight, hard, controlled, forcing things to happen.
Squeezing the bulbs to make them bloom
I never looked in the mirror anymore
never stared at my grim visage in the passing time
I could not let things happen
I could not let them bloom on their own
Then one day my world came crashing around me
The dust settled on my hair and shoulders and
I was forced to claw my way out of the rubble and begin again
This time, i thought It will be different,
I began with the walls, translucent, simple, easy
I sat and watched the world move and undulate,
I sat and let the flowers come when they were ready
as for my face, where once there had been shadows
deep ravines and canyons sweat pouring from my brow
how was smoothed, calm and peaceful.